Category: Existentialism – What’s the Point?

Listening to:

What the fuck is your passion? No I’d rather not go the sappy self-help route, I’m not trying to be make a buck off your misfortunes or fortunes, but if you want to wire money to my checking account that would be awesome. No, im also not referring to your sexual passion (though sex has a lot to do with it in my opinion). I want to know what makes you want to get a bank account and hit up some sluts who tell you how buff you are?

Why do you do what you do? Why do you get a job? Why do you enjoy sex? Why do you feel good after winning a sports event? Why do you smile when you “accomplish” something? Why do you ask questions? Why don’t you ask questions? Why do you shut up that little voice inside that screams for more? Why do you amplify that same voice? Why do you wake up in the morning? Why do you sleep like a baby at night?

“You ask too many questions. We live because that is the only thing we know how to do. We have to continue forward.”

Forward towards what?

“Enlightenment. Riches. Realization.”

Is that really the goal?

“Nah, fuck all that. I just want a house in the hills.”

And yes, don’t we all. We trample over each other, multiply all over a living spaceship, and look for things we consider to be “riches”: a plaque with your name and a fancy emblem that you can hang in your office. A vehicle that is worth more pieces of paper than some other dope’s vehicle. You want trophies, you want a symbol that signifies your elevated status to another hominid. You want to get in the hall of fame, but you never consider that at some point, the memory of Michael Jordan will be just as dead as an unknown junkie living in the dumpster behind Kohl’s.

“How dare you condemn me! What the fuck have you done? You’re just jealous! And besides, we’ll always be around! Technology is always going to improve our lives, oil’s never going to run out, and-oh shit nevermind the game is on in three minutes…”

Seems you can read me just fine. I’d be lying if I stated that my entire life has been a “success”. And I enjoy watching Sunday football just like the next guy. But overlook my personality, the sign of “me” and consider the ideas themselves, for ideas are more alive, more powerful than individual humans will ever be. And I don’t condemn anyone: something is happening, life is changing, and we are constantly evolving and moving towards desires. What is desire? Ideas seeking to be manifested. The so-called will to power. There is nothing “wrong” with this. But as complicated, smart, and cool as you may consider us to be, there really isn’t too much of a difference between you “ballin’ hard to get the pussy and the weed” and male lions battling each other for control of a pride.

That’s all I can think of for the moment. This probably seems like it’s situated deeply in the paradigm of being a male, and I won’t necessarily argue with that. Being a male myself, I have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, but females are just as much a part of this process, this “thing” called life. I’ll continue this rambling next time and muse about that which fascinates me the most about humanity: Memes. I’ll talk a little about my own passion and feelings about the subject… just a little though, you know me.

In other news, I need a job.


Listening to:

Today I decided in a stroke of pure genius to start regularly shamelessly plugging cool shit on the internet. Today that link is to a very simple page but which carries an incredibly profound message.

Listen, Little Man!

Wilhelm Reich, like plenty of thinking men ahead of their times, was often labeled as “insane”, “crazy”, and “outright ridiculous” for his research into the fields of psychiatry and “orgone”. Sounds like my kind of guy! I knew I would probably like his ideas right off the bat (Yeah, I’m a good little sheep like that.) I won’t go preaching about his life story right here because I’m sure you know how to type “Wilhelm Reich” into Wikipedia. What’s rather interesting is the fact that the FDA trumped up charges against him to have his ass thrown into jail and as a kicker several of his books were burned! because they were too “dangerous”. No I did not make that up. Don’t you love it when your fellow apes “protect” you against “evil” information? Is it just me, or is it weird how we imprison people who challenge the status quo and/or ask us to look within ourselves?

Well, Reich did just that. Listen, Little Man! is a message to all people who desire meaning in life. It harps constantly on the concept of the “little man”: you, me, anyone who has taken his worth to be less than it is. Reich claims that you, the little man, have more power and responsibility than perhaps you will ever know. He eloquently points out the role this little man has had throughout every human culture and how the “little big man” always claims power over the former. If the little man (read: every person on this earth) ever realized his own God-given (no I’m not a believer in the traditional sense, that’s another post) power and worth, he would:

a) stop blaming the “jews”, “blacks”, “whites”, etc etc,
b) stop viewing others as possible enemies before seeing himself in them,
c) and this is probably the most important, he would stop allowing little big men to control his mind in the name of “The Fatherland” or “The People”.

I first read this book a couple weeks ago, and read it again a few days later. I am going to give it another read after finishing this post. I can tell you in all honesty that no book has had quite the impact on my life as this one. I know what some of you are thinking; I love the concepts so much because the mediocrity in my recent life has drawn me to it, and you may be right. Oh well, this book has allowed me to look at myself, my true SELF, beyond even my beliefs and cultural imprinting. I am finally beginning to get a taste of what true “peace” may feel like.

Next time you have a spare hour, don’t piss it away on Farmville and instant messenger, and for Dog’s sake don’t watch your favorite midget porno again. Instead, i recommend giving this excerpt of the book a good reading, and keep an open mind. In other words: be the opposite of what most cultural institutions today want you to be: a free-thinking individual

Now, my faithful, if you’ve stuck with me this far, you’re probably thinking:

a) “Wow, way to be overly political, Karl Marx! Give me the last two hours of my life back!” (Increase your reading speed, bitch.)
b) “I thought the category was ‘cool links’, not ‘links that make you realize how much your life sucks’, thanks dickhead.”
c) “How much LSD did you eat before posting this?”

*Sigh*, you got me. If the above link wasn’t cool enough, I always save the best for last:

Bloons Tower Defense 4

Good ahead, click and play, it’s not like that professor has anything useful to tell you anyway. Wilhem Reich would be so proud.

Bill Hicks was on the money (and ahead of his time, but that’s another post) with this one. No it’s not just hippie mumbo-jumbo, although he did eat plenty of psilocybin mushrooms. It’s simply a testament to the ultimate realization of mankind: having the courage to love yourself and love others in spite of fear. Or… is the ultimate realization of our species found in farmville, antiperspirants, and the size of your checking account? Perhaps only time will tell. That is all for today. Go back to the social media outlet that spawned you.


Listening to:

I ask myself this question every day, and lately I haven’t been able to come up with anything halfway decent. This may truly be a useless blog, but I’m certain I can get half as many hits as shit like this:

So perhaps I should make it worth the while for the twenty-something people who actually stumbled across this website.

Why do I write? Why do I subject myself to the existential tragedy that is the blank page? Is it a desire to express myself creatively? To draw attention to myself like your local high-school slut (respect)? Or because I have nothing better to do, or have failed so hard at the mainstream system that I feel a need to grow by ways and means of myself, rather than relying on some piece of paper with fancy print on it to get me through my “professional career”.

Ah, yes, the promise of the American Dream. Go to school, get good grades. Don’t talk in class, don’t talk back to your teacher, don’t question the teaching method. Do your homework, study hard, get accepted to a “good” college. Get a degree, get a job sucking the corporate dick, live happily ever after paying off student loans until you’re 138.

Okay, perhaps I’m being overly pessimistic, but I guess just going to school and the “real world” of standardized testing and job ladders was never meant for me. As far back as kindergarten, I was always more concerned with drawing circles in the air and letting my imagination run wild for days. Of course, this was unacceptable “weird” behavior, or clearly a sign that my parents were slipping me LSD in my Cheerios! I couldn’t help the fact that video games and fantasy novels were much more interesting then being tested about which white guy sailed across which ocean. I never did find school interesting. Oh sure there would be a decent teacher every now and again who I would strike a chord with, and I found that most of my teachers enjoyed my company a lot. Many of them praised me for being “bright”. Yet, I rarely if ever finished my homework and half-completed a bunch of assignments. I used to just think laziness was something built-in, a gene I was born with and could never escape. Oh, how I was disenchanted.

But I’m not necessarily complaining; I’ve lived a very comfortable, middle-class white life and count my blessings everyday. But I have found the ultimate evil, at least for myself in my life: the unspeakable, abject horror known as mediocrity. It holds sway over many a person’s existence for years, sometimes even an entire lifetime. I can say that mediocrity has been dominating my experience of life for the last fifteen years.

Not that I naturally and consciously wish to gravitate towards such a paradigm of uselessness devoid of meaning. However, I have spent my years attempting to avoid mediocrity at any cost, only to find myself deep inside it.

How did this all come to be?

So, before I lose any more readers, I say to you my fellow hominids, at the top of the branch from the bottom of my great-ape-dna heart: I got mediocre grades in high school, I never went “college shopping”, I have dropped out of college, went back, and dropped out again. I have held menial jobs in the manufacturing or service industry, and have drifted away from them as well. I’ve always been a big nerd and my experience with the fairer sex makes me want to put my picture next to “late bloomer” in the dictionary. I’ve been broke several times (right now is an excellent example), have been indecisive about career decisions and dream-chasing, and have had emotional lows that I don’t even wish to begin to dwell on in this post.

I don’t say this to elicit sympathy. I know some of you very smart scientific ones are thinking “this is obviously just attention whoring”. Please, if I wanted to piss the details of my personal life all over the net like graffiti near Dodger Stadium in order to get “attention”, I would have started doing this years ago. I am posting this because of the “will to power”, because my subconscious wants this shit out of my head for once, because I can, or whatever scenario you think fits best.

Maybe I’m a loser, but despite all those “shortcomings” I have a few character traits I wouldn’t trade for anything in the entire world, except maybe a date with Rachel McAdams… nah, maybe not:

1. I am endlessly fascinated with a huge array of subjects, from history to linguistics to acting to computers.

2. I always attempt to use empathy when dealing with another member of my species.

3. I always end up questioning everything: from ideas I first read in the Bible, to the idea that the only way to be happy is to die with the most shiny toys.

They haven’t always brought me joy though. My love of so many subjects and artistic pursuits has left me head-scratching on many a night, wondering what “field” I’m supposed to “specialize” in. My empathy has been a vital part of my personality but there have been plenty of times where I haven’t stood up for something I believe in because I was afraid of *gasp* social rejection. And questioning all that you have known, while it’s great for the expansion of your mind, can also make you feel isolated and longing.

So what’s the point? If you ever come to this blog looking for career advice, lifehack tips, or dick jokes, I can provide only one of the above. This isn’t for useful information, this is for useless shit, like how certain ants make other ants their slaves (true story), why this loser wants to do ‘shrooms and peyote, and why I think most religions are bad, but spirituality is good.

My goal in life (more in my next post) is to create and make other people (even if it’s just a few) realize how incredible, precious and mysterious life really is. And to do blow off the vinyl.

If anyone cares to psychoanalyze me leave a comment. No I was not sexually abused as a child. Thanks for asking.